I think people who strive to be famous are not really aware or don't really take seriously the fact that over 50% of the publicity they get will probably be negative publicity. I didn't, at least. You don't just have a million more cheerleaders in life. There's a lot that goes with it.
Today, I can tell you that fame is certainly something I do NOT want. I would still like to do some acting as a hobby, but I don't ever want to be that big star constantly bombarded by the spotlight, and... lucky me :) People have to work so hard for fame and even these attain it so rarely, that it doesn't look like this is going to be an issue for me.
Taylor Swift has a song that I think is highly underrated and under talked-about called The Lucky One. While I've never heard an explanation for this song, it seems to pretty blatantly be pointing to the idea that it's those of us who aren't in the spotlight that are truly blessed.
So here is a by-all-means-not-exclusive list of
The Perks Of Not Being Famous
1. PRIVACY
For someone with anxiety like me, having to plan my life out not only according to what will bring me and my loved ones fulfillment but also keeping in mind the critics who will be analyzing me and tabloids that will be putting my story on the front page... that sounds like a nightmare!
I like having control over who knows what. For the most part, I can decide who knows about my personal life based on which friends I entrust this information to. Where do I live? Where do I work? Do I like my job? Am I good at it? Do I get along with my coworkers? Do I like anyone? Am I dating or in a relationship? Which friendships are most central to my life? What do I consider a fun outing?
I also have come to appreciate that even when I post something on Facebook or YouTube it tends to stay within a small crowd. I would rather post a video and only have a few dedicated friends decide to watch it than anticipate it having 22 million views and being all over the news the next morning.
While we live in a world that tries to blow up fame as this wonderful, blissful thing that we should all strive to attain, keep in mind the perks of obscurity. People talk about how fame makes you powerful, but in reality it takes AT LEAST as much power as it gives you when it comes to censorship of your personal life (and don't forget the gossip columns that make up stories that skew millions of people's opinion of you).
2. FREE, OBSCURE DAY-TO-DAY OUTINGS
Top-of-the-chart celebrities can rarely step out their door without having paparazzi on them. They can rarely go to the beach without having their body critiqued as if they are some sort of museum display.
I, for one, like to express different parts of my personality from day-to-day without having one day seriously affect the other. One day I might spend a quiet day at the park or reading a book. Another I might spend volunteering at a shelter. Another I might spend with my best friends doing crazy things like pretending I'm a dog in public. (Yup. It's true. We do these sorts of things: sticking our tongues out the window while we drive. We're weird.)
I like being able to do these helpful or ridiculous things without having the whole world watching me trying to either (1) test my humility by making me out to be some sort of saint or (2) claiming I must be drunk or super irresponsible because I wanted to be more childlike or silly for a day.
It's not that I want to be inconsistent or irresponsible, but I do want the freedom to express myself in more silly and creative ways at some times and in more serious and put-together ways at other times.
That said, AS HUMANS, we all do things we regret or feel embarrassed about from time to time. We all have different personas that we emphasize the most to different people or in different situations. We all have moments in our lives that we would really prefer others not see.
It's a blessing to be able to go out on the town or even to the grocery store super put together one day without everyone there remembering you as the girl who didn't even brush her hair yesterday.
Due to this (and even in scenarios where I don't regret something), there are many times when I am especially grateful for my freedom to embark on new adventures as...
3. FRESH STARTS!!!
This is honestly probably the one that means the most to me (tied with the anxiety-aspect of the first one).
First impressions. We only make them once which each person, but we make them with LOTS OF PEOPLE. If the things I strive for in life are changing or certain relationships are dwindling, etc. etc. I always have the opportunity to go out and meet new people who have no prior impression of me. It's so freeing!
As noted before, the people I run into on my outings today don't have to think of me as that girl who was falling to pieces yesterday. One of the greatest blessings I had in life was when I started at a new school. I had been a real outsider at my old school, but I had learned from the experience and at my new school was able to present myself as the dynamic, friendly, and verily-put-together girl I wanted to be.
Fresh starts can come in big or small ways. They can be as simple as simply taking the day to take a bubble bath and go out for tea after a stressful week. They can be as large as changing jobs, entering into a new relationship, moving, etc. Either way, it is so much simpler and less anxiety-inducing to do these things when the new people you cross paths with don't come with a tainted (for better or for worse) view of you and when you're not under the spotlight.
4. CERTAIN OPPORTUNITIES
This aspect goes both ways. People who are famous do have many opportunities or things they can more easily access that most people don't --whether that be specific roles they get to play in movies or on TV shows, homes they can afford, or trips they can afford to embark on.
However, those who are not famous can have a much easier time switching career paths or trying out a new job or area of interest. I know from looking into acting that many employers are hesitant to give a job to say, an actor, because they lack confidence that the actor won't just leave suddenly if he or she acquires a new gig. Or simply consider that, while most businesses have a discrimination-free policy, some may be more hesitant to hire someone who isn't in a positive position in the spotlight due to the repercussions of "affiliation." Again, some businesses would love the publicity! But it really does vary and can play a role for better or for worse in this area.
Also note that, if you do take on a new role, if you are someone particularly famous it is unlikely that people will approach you without a certain bias. They may never see you as a professional in your new role as much as a "once-famous _______ who ______."
5. AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS
I think this one gets touched on more by celebrities than some of the previously addressed points. We ALL have to question the motives of others in our lives. Why do they like us? Does a certain person like me for my looks or money or for a deeper reason? Does someone see me as a means-to-an-end or as the end itself? Is someone embarking in a relationship with me in hopes of bettering my life or entirely in a self-seeking fashion?
These questions are hard enough to answer in everyday life, but as someone famous it can be even harder to judge a person's motives. So many people see you as a means to an end. They may see being your "friend" as giving them a greater chance at getting a gig or becoming famous themselves. They may even want to meet you more-so for the sake of impressing their friends with the story than actually for the sake of meeting you. Etc. Etc.
It's a hard part of life to grapple with in general, but it can be even harder to grapple with when so many people see you as superhuman.
~*~
As noted before, this is by no means an all-inclusive list, but these are some of the biggest reasons I am grateful for my so-to-speak more obscure, normal, down-to-earth life. Because when it all comes down to it being just another face in the crowd can be a blessing, because we know that deep down we're more than that and we have the opportunity to show that to the special people who enter into our lives.
