Monday, July 2, 2018

Is Your Pride Getting In The Way Of Your Calling? [Quarter Life Crisis]

I know I'm not alone, so I suppose that should be a comfort to me. Sooo many of my friends who are my age or just a year of two older or younger are going through this same job crisis.

We've been in positions for maybe just under or over a year (a max of two years), and we're just feeling unsatisfied.

Me, I have a fear of being a job-hopper! I don't want to be one of those people, because I think it looks bad on resumes if most of the positions you've been in were just for under or over a year.

Hopefully people will give me a bit more slack when they consider that 

(1) my last 10 jobs were throughout my college years so never serious, 

(2) I'm young, and 

(3) I'm still figuring out what I want to do with my life.

Still, it is hard when you either don't have an idea of where you want to go or you have such a precise idea that it limits your options.

I recently applied for what I considered to be my "dream job." I tried not to get excited about it, because I knew I was under qualified --> the whole "you need experience to get the job, you need to the job to get experience."

The three aspects of the job I was most excited about were: 

(1) It was an introvert job performing a HOBBY of mine (aka, data entry).

(2) It was for an organization whose values aligned with mine 100%.

(3) There was an ADORATION CHAPEL next door to the office I would have been in.

So it kind of came as a hard fall when I didn't get the job, because how often do you find a job with ALL of these aspects applying to it???

My current job crisis revolves around a few things, but the main thing is that I feel unsupported in my faith. I want to work at a place where I feel supported... a place that helps me to grow as a Catholic person. I'm someone who is too worried about offending people to stand up for my faith much at work. I'm too much of a chameleon, and while that is sometimes a blessing it is also a curse. It means that the people around me influence my behavior A LOT. Whether or not they change what I believe, they change how I act, and sooner or later they change what my focus is in life.

~*~

So here I am at my Quarter Life Crisis, and the question is:

How do I find a job that I passionate about that supports my faith life a lot?

I haven't found another introvert, data-entry job with a built-in adoration chapel yet. That said, I need(?) something that allows me to go to work (1) not dreading human interaction and (2) feeling super supported in my faith life. Where do the two meet?

Beats me. A few job leads I have been looking into recently are at a home for retired priests or as a nanny. I guess one of my concerns is that (1) the first of those two jobs is only part-time and hardly pays better than my current job and (2) I would like a position I could stay in longer-term but I will need health insurance coverage in two years.

So this is what has been on my mind lately. P.S. I am currently spending more than I am making and am not even paying my own insurance, utilities, or rent! :P

~*~

I went to Mass after reconciliation today, and the Lord spoke to me more directly than I could have imagined, because here is what I read in today's Magnificat:


Meditation of the Day: Following In Trust
~ By SISTER WENDY BECKETT ~

"Total trust in God is the only true foundation for you--we can't afford to live at peace while we inwardly believe all depends on us, and that we hold God's love on the fragile basis of our virtue. But when we trust his never-failing concern for us, his steady unfaltering love and determination to give himself, no matter how weak we are: then we can rest contentedly on his broad fatherly shoulders. And our proof of our trust in him must be a resolution to trust our sisters. Not the way we trust him, because all human beings are so limited, but a trust in their essential goodness, that they want him as as much, perhaps more than we do...and that we all meet peacefully in that longing.

I am sure his loving heart is pleased with your efforts, and he doesn't even notice your inevitable failures. He just says, gently, love me all the more for the falls and I will do my will in you.

Trust means that we (at least!) expect fairness! And God could never make demands that we couldn't meet, could he? All worries about backsliding are just "self." He always asks us to live in peace, in "largeness." If we fall, we simply look at him and go on. We never fret or feel strained. Better for him that we give "less" in peace than "more" in strain because he is only present in the peaceful heart. Be brave...never give into these lowering fears. And remember that trust is a virtue that has to be struggled and prayed for. The reason why he lets you feel as you do is precisely so you can struggle--and receive in his sweet time." 


My self-question as I consider open positions: 
"Is Your Pride Getting In The Way Of Your Calling?"