Oh My Oh My, Moving Beyond The High School High

Every so often I go into an obsessive phase where I idolize high school. I was hesitant to use the world "idolize" at first, because it just shows how wrong this obsession is. (KEY WORD: Idol.) 

I went through a phase last summer that was pretty intense and just recently started to obsess over high school things again: wanting to know how people are doing, if I'm cool enough, if I'm on top of things, if I'm caught up in life. All that silliness. I told my counselor it's obviously a coping mechanism that I've digressed back to my high-school-obsessed phase, but I'm not yet sure what it is I'm avoiding.

Regardless, when this phase comes around I remember how much potential I had in high school. I remember how many people I managed to get along with from pretty much every crowd at school. I remember the highs I felt and my obsessiveness with boys and popularity and making other girls jealous. I especially remember that for TWO YEARS of my life I never went to the doctor with a high depression or anxiety diagnosis. 

Those are the things I remember. I've sort of got my blinders on, but it's sort of true that I really was that happy in high school. I felt empowered. Somehow I managed to do something that I have never been able to do without a struggle in other periods of my life --> I got up early looking forward to the morning ahead of me.

This is how I remember high school, and I crave to go to my high school reunion just less than half a decade from now still that girl that other girls envy, that guys think is cool, etc. etc. So on top of life and in everyone's good graces with lots of hugs and "OMG, how are you?!"s

I let myself go into this high -- this obsessive research and reaching-reaching-reaching for those affirmations -- because for the most part it feels good. It occupies my brain and keeps me from feeling that nothingness, sadness, aloneness...

~*~

But then I remember something, and this memory remarkably enough cheers me up. I remember that after I graduated high school rumors went around in the class after me. I remember learning about these rumors from a friend one day from my entirely separate world at college and laughing, because what else can you do? Laughing because people were dumb enough to still think I was in high school and to make gossip about me. Laughing that they thought they were so smart. Laughing that I was free and unaffected. Laughing that they didn't seem to know this. That I had gotten out too soon.

And then I realize... hah. Maybe this world I fantasize about really isn't that worth fighting to keep tabs on and impress. (I've known this all along, but the emotional acceptance of this freedom feels so good.)

Maybe I've forgotten what I got away from and the reason for some of the choices I made. I forgot why I defriended so many high schoolers. I forgot how shockingly upsetting some of the jokes and views that these people carry/carried are or were. Jokes about condoms? So over that. Fighting for the right to... kill? Oh right. That's why I drew the line when it came to choosing certain friend groups in high school! That's why I defriended certain people. Not that it was some valiant move on my part, but I realized that I had found something even better.

So, now that I've realized what a laugh so much of this stuff is and how forgetful and silly I sometimes can be... hopefully this will help me to let go of this silly idolization, because I see how much more fulfilling the life I live is now. 

Because life for Jesus is real life, and living life to impress these high school folks is fleeting to say the least. Not only is it fleeting, but it's silly to think I would be better staying in that world when I remember how rumors came after my graduation, or when I realize that things went beyond partying and immodesty to jokes about abortion or contraception or unmentionables (and they still do with some people), when I realize that people who looked so put together in high school are really just trying to find themselves now.

BREATH. Thank GOD I have a LIFE TO LIVE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL! A life with purpose. A life focused on Him. A life for more than the temporal. A calling that God has specially given me with my specific talents and struggles and strengths, experiences, insights... A calling yet to unfold. 

A life for prayer and Jesus... looking forward to someday entering into THE LIFE OF THE TRINITY.

What does it mean to "renounce the world" TWENY-FIRST CENTURY STYLE?

The more I read the book of Isaiah, the more God's call becomes clear in our day and age. He calls us to renounce the world in order to give God that place in our hearts, yet it is no much more popular today among Protestants and Catholics alike to try to simply "make room" for Him in our daily lives: to have wild parties and then go sing Praise and Worship songs. 

Instead of conforming our lives to the Lord, we try to fit Him in here and there.

But God doesn't call for the easy path: to a path where everyone around you will support you and like you. In order to enter into Christ's life, we are called to renounce the ways of the world. What does that mean in our day and age?

The more I read the Word of God and take classes that study the Catechism and Christ's call, the more clearly I hear this message:

1. Do not listen to or dance to immoral music.
This includes on your commute to work or when relaxing with friends at the end of the week or at wedding receptions.

There is a pretty strong chance that if you turn on 97.1 or 101.3 you will hear less than moral music. You will hear songs that use crude language, songs that objectify the other, songs that focus on pleasure and the self. God doesn't say to only renounce the ways of the world "when no one else is doing that stuff" or "when it doesn't feel awkward." 

So even if you're Praise and Worship friends are going out to a club or hosting a banger at their house after-the-fact... don't join in! And offer that sacrifice to the Lord.

If you're like me, that Ariana Grande song may be tempting. You may feel like a party pooper not dancing to Shakira at the wedding reception. You may feel a strong temptation to rock those moves to Apple Bottom Jeans or Shots, but think again. Is this bringing glory to God, or is it celebrating a world apart from Him and His ways?

2. Do not watch TV or films that involve rude humor, unnecessary levels of violence, or an immoral way of life.

Keep in mind that just because a show is incredibly popular doesn't mean it is good. When you watch a show, be attentive to where it is taking your thoughts. 

Are you taking pleasure in another person's misery? Are you objectifying certain characters?

Are the characters or show hosts/contestants living virtuous lives? What are they teaching you about their lifestyle?

What are the films messages about self-sacrifice, respectful relationships, the role of sex?

Be attentive to in-your-face ideas or forms of publicity. For example, the word "idol" in American Idol should be taken seriously, as God admonishes the idolizing of created things (whether people or objects) all throughout the Bible. If other shows promote this sort of show that is also a read flag, as both are celebrating a similar message.

Also keep in mind that a decent show can still take you away from God if it is consuming so much of your time and/or brain space that you don't have much time to give to God.

Some questions to ask yourself before turning of the TV or opening the computer are: 

Are you glorifying God by watching this show? Is God happily watching this show with you? How does your watching this show affect your relationship with God? Does it strengthen, weaken, or stagnate it?

3. Watch what, how much, and why you drink.
Among other things, God specially warns against unhealthy drinking in the Bible (Isaiah 5:22 etc). He doesn't say "don't drink at all"--think the Wedding Feast at Cana--but he calls us to be very conscious about how we approach things of this world: drinking included.

Some of the most import things to consider when partaking in alcoholic beverages are how much you are drinking and why you are drinking. Today common reasons for drinking are to fit in and be popular, to act rebelliously (as a means of showing off or to attract attention), and to numb feelings. This reasoning doesn't exclude circles of Protestants or Catholics.

When entering into a circle that promotes alcohol consumption, keep some of these questions in mind --> What role is alcohol playing in this environment? Is it leading to a crazy and chaotic atmosphere? Is it celebrating a rebel against authorities? Is it to show off and draw attention? Are people looked down on for not drinking? Is it simply to partake in one of God's simple pleasures without going overboard?

Keep in mind your surroundings when you chose to consume alcohol or hang out in an environment where alcohol is offered. Is their loud immoral music playing in the background? Are people dancing provocatively or making jokes out of each other? Or is the atmosphere calm and serene with conversations that involve proper use of the intellect and brings glory to God?

4. Avoid spending too much time on the internet with social media (and the like).

Question: Is it sinful to spend time on the internet? 

Answer: No; just as drinking in and of itself isn't bad. 

It's when we thoughtlessly waste too much time on the internet or when we use it for unhealthy purposes or catch it leading us into sin... this is where red flags show up.

Social media especially is prone to leading us into thoughts of comparison that God does not call us to. Social media provides temptations to show off and to try to "one up" other people. (I know, because I am guilty.)

Even on the occasions when we are not led into these temptations --when we do not feel the need to show off or compare ourself to others-- it can lead us to sins including sloth. Remember that a sin is something that interferes with our relationship with God. Personally, I can watch five hours of YouTube a day and not realize it until I look at the clock. (Even half an hour a day would be means for reevaluating use of one's time.)

I flock to my computer rather than to prayer when I am feeling overwhelmed with unhappy thoughts. I am looking for a distraction and this is exactly what social media provides me with. But in that distraction not only do 1) I avoid things that it could be helpful to address and 2) avoid spending time in the SILENCE that God calls me to hear His voice...

I also quickly get caught up in the life of the world. I start watching music videos or vlogs that promote false perfection, superficiality, and Hollywood life. I start to idolize people on the internet or strive to become more like them rather than more like God. I start to worry about how my friends or followers lives seem to be "moving along" so smoothly while mine feels so "stagnant."

Screen time does effect and can rewire parts of the brain. The more it takes on the role of filling every empty moment (rather than giving that time to Our Lord), the harder it becomes to even enter into quiet moments of meditation. It becomes hard to quiet one's mind when one wants to. After scrolling through a news feed for an hour or even ten minutes, it becomes harder for our brain to switch off the news feed even when we want to. Our brain is constantly talking and moving, and this leaves less room for God to do His work.

Let's take the time to turn off our computers for a considerable length of time or to delete these apps altogether. Our brains are much more open to authentic receptivity when we spend our time in conversation with friends or reading a book or going for a walk, etc. etc. Let's make sure to live in moderation and to "turn off" our social media is order to "turn on" God's voice.

So now that you've made more room for Jesus, what DO you fill this time with...?

There are a plethora of things you could do, but here are just a few ideas:

PRAY: There are so many ways to pray. One could journal in the Lord's presence, confide one's hopes and fears to the Lord, read Scripture, meditate on a mystery of Christ's life, pray the Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet, sit before the Blessed Sacrament, sing songs of Praise and Worship, write poetry to the Lord... Regardless of the form of prayer, this time brings glory to God and opens up space for God's grace to infiltrate our hearts and enter into our lives.

Go On Coffee Dates: Whether you grab coffee, go out for a meal, or go for a walk, spending time with friends is one of the most enriching ways to spend one's time. You get to embark on the journey of life together and share in each other's joys and sorrows. You can have deep conversations with friends whether those be about faith, work, your stage in life, hobbies, or other topics that are of interest. Catching up with and sharing your heart with a friend is always a great way to spend one's time.

Play An Instrument: Whether you having been playing since childhood or are just now picking up an instrument, playing music is a great way to enjoy one's time and to bring glory to God. Classical music can be especially calming for the brain, but there are a variety of fun genres to engage in whether you're playing Praise and Worship music, polkas, holiday songs, or modern-day songs that are not contrary to God's Will. You could even compose something of your own!

Read A Book: There are so many great books out there whether fiction of non-fiction! You could pick a top that interests you and do some research, or you could pick out a novel or adventure book. If you're having a hard time finding books to read look through the classics, browse your nearby library, or ask for recommendations for spiritual reading. As ever, focus on books that bring glory to God versus books that preach a message contrary to His word.

Adventure Outside: God created a beautiful universe, and He would do it all again even if it were just for you! Enjoy His creation whether that means going for a walk down the block or at a local park or planning a skiing and snowboarding adventure. Every day is a new day to experience God's love through His beautiful creation, and we bring Him glory by appreciating the amazing gifts He has given us in nature. 

Take A Class: Okay; it's not always the easiest thing to do economically, but learning alongside others can be a wonderful adventure. This could involve learning a new sport, picking up a new hobby, reading the Catechism. You could look for local classes in your community or programs through your Church. Bring glory to God through exercising your intellect! You could also bring together a book study or Bible study. You could take a class that will help to improve your performance at work or the class entirely un-work-related. If you have special skills to share with others, you might even get the opportunity to teach a class.

Volunteer: Volunteer opportunities are all over the place, and the hardest and most vital step is simply doing your research and reaching out or applying. Sometimes volunteer opportunities are simple. Perhaps you're helping out a neighbor in need. Perhaps your visiting people in nursing homes whether independently or with a group. Perhaps you're sharing your talents through a free performance somewhere. Perhaps you're helping to feed the hungry. Your spare time provides you with a GREAT opportunity to exercise the Corporal Works of Mercy.

Play With A Pet: Our furry friends (or scalely friends or whatever form of friends you have from the animal world) can provide us with so many moments of pure joy and affection. One of the first things God called man to was to look after His creatures, and thankfully he has made these creatures just so freaking adorable that the task can often be considered a pleasure. Whether it's your cat or dog or mouse or lizard, you can find great enjoyment and fulfillment in spending time with your pets whether that be watching them, cuddling with them, or playing games with them. I guarantee you will feel more fulfillment after an hour with your pet than after an hour on social media.

Lastly, I encourage you to find friends who share these values (which is no easy task) or to perhaps invite your friends who don't necessarily share these values to do these things with you. What a great way to help others to develop healthy lifestyle and to live a life that prepares you for Heaven and gives glory to God!

No one is going to live these values out perfectly, but it is a wonderful thing when you meet someone who actually STRIVES too live them out, someone who confesses to Christ's call being so radical, someone who doesn't try to make excuses or look for times to "turn off" their conscience. 

There may be few people out there who share these values, but don't make that a reason for you to cave and sweep these values under the rug as well. The revival of God's true call must start with the example of one person. Lead by example as a true light of God's Word.