"Do You Like Working In A Secular Environment?"

My (Catholic) therapist asked me recently (non-judgmentally), "Do you like working a secular environment?"

My response was instant. "Yes! I LOVE it!"

Working in a secular environment has stretched me in so many ways. I don't even necessarily feel like the person I was a year ago. (Note: there are people called to work in a much more Catholic or faith-based environment, and I'm not saying anything to bash that. That is also so beautiful and important.) What I am saying is that God knows my heart and He knows it can only find true happiness if I go out and try to reach, love, and see people who are different from myself. Whether I'll always work in a secular environment, I don't know, but I do know with certainty that I am exactly where God wants me to be right now--where He can do what a priest once described to me as His "heart surgery."

Working in a secular environment isn't always comfortable for me, but if anything that only makes me love it more because it stretched me. In each individual who crosses my path I see beauty, and I want to come to better understand and know that person simply because they are.

My coworkers don't typically share my beliefs on some of the hot topics (though I am finding myself to be more and more moderate), but what we do share is a genuine concern and love for each individual in front of us (and isn't that what's most important?)

Working in a secular environment has helped me to see things differently and to delve into what being the heart of Christ in the world really looks like.

 ~*~ 

Specific Example

A year ago you ask me about "trans people" or "gay rights," I would have pictured a distant population. Now, if you ask me about it, I see the face of one of my trans students, and the first thing I want to know (non-judgmentally) is, "What is your story?"

In that moment, as I see the beauty of the other, I'm not asking this question in order to change that person. I'm asking because I recognize the individual's beauty and know that individual has seen and experienced things that I never have. Instead of asking to change the person, I'm asking to understand so that I can better love that individual (exactly as they are -- regardless of whether their views on matters change or not).

As I look back on what I've written, I want to note that when I say "I will love you whether your views change or not," I do NOT mean that in a better-than-though way. I recognize that we are equal in our flaws and beauty and that I have as much to learn from you as you have to learn from me. (I thank you for loving me whether my views change or not too. 😄)

When I encounter individuals-who-are-unlike-myself firsthand -- as opposed to talking about them as some distant population -- my heart is moved and I am forced to discover new things and ask questions I may not have asked before.

Recently, I've been having a spiritual struggle, because I've found that I often (not always, mind you -- not talking in absolutes here!) see a greater amount of genuine love, empathy, and compassion from people who are open to and/or support the LGBTQ+ community than I see from Catholics I've developed friendships with over the years. (Please, please remember that I'm not talking in absolutes. Not everyone who supports or promotes the LGBTQ+ community exudes these qualities, and I have met Catholics who approach the world with an INCREDIBLE about of love, empathy, and compassion.)

Seeing so much genuine love and care from the people who either live in or openly support the LGBTQ+ community has forced me to see that the world isn't black and white and that we can always learn something from our brothers and sisters with different views.

I'm not saying I disagree with the Catholic Church's teaching on when we are or are not called to have sexual intercourse (inside or outside of marriage; with the opposite or the same sex). That said, I do think leaders and members within the Catholic Church could do a better job of being charitable to people who identify as LGBTQ+ and could do more to affirm their worth and the goodness in them (and the fact that desiring a special bond or union with someone of the same sex can bring some beautiful and unique qualities to the table). Book recommendation especially for my Catholic friends: Gay and Catholic.

I could go on with this topic more, but I think I've made the main point I'm trying to make here. I am in a constant state of learning and discernment and am especially working to lead with the heart before the head. (That's what Christ did, see: The Bible.)

~*~ 

Working in a secular environment has helped me to ask questions I would not otherwise have asked and to see the beauty in people I might not have otherwise seen the beauty in.

I have dedicated my summer to trying to understand people who are so often misunderstood (both through research and through direct encounter), and I don't want that to end with this summer. Life is an amazing journey, and how beautiful it is that God has called me to know and love such amazing human beings in such amazing ways on my journey as I come to know Him.

 

Let's continue this heart surgery. ❤️

To Each A Mission (Speak To My Heart)

I spoke with a friend who is heading of to dedicate the next two years of her life to FOCUS and while we were talking I noted, "It seems like a lot of people are getting the mission bug." I meant this both in regard to roles actually known as 'missionary' as well as in regard to the unique mission each of us has in our home, school, workplace, etc.

My friend shared how her heart had felt the call to something different than the role she had in her job. In her job she had been able to meet the physical needs or people, but she saw another need that she felt called to fill and wasn't able to do so directly in that role.

As I see multiple friends going off to dedicate years of their lives to missions, I see more and more the beautiful, unique mission Christ sends us each of. My friend was radiating with joy as she talked about the number one way of evangelizing being through relationships. (Have you been reading my HEART, girl!?) Funny enough, over the past week or two I was thinking how beautiful it is to be gifted with the opportunity to develop relationships with some of His dearest children (on the autism spectrum and people working in that area). I could cry just thinking about the beauty of each individual I work with.

I was thinking about how strongly I feel a call to love people exactly where they are at. I thought about how much I longed to convey the message, "You are loved EXACTLY as you are. You don't need to change as a pre-requisite to my loving you. You are BEAUTIFUL and treasured - BELOVED - exactly as you are."

 "You are loved EXACTLY as you are. You don't need to change as a pre-requisite to my loving you. You are BEAUTIFUL and treasured - BELOVED - exactly as you are."

I had, in fact, been feeling a great deal of frustration with many Catholics, because I think within some Catholic groups there is the tendency to face inward and not outward -- to stay within ones little niche and only get to know people who share your views and background (an "us and them" mentality). I was sensing a closed-off-ness and a lack of acceptance and love of others from some (not all!) Catholic groups. (For clarification, I'm not turning against any Catholic teaching, but I'm saying first and foremost our mission is to start with the heart.)

For me personally, I feel a GREAT call to move outward and to get to know people in the secular world and try to understand the cries of their hearts --> people with disabilities, people who identify as LGBTQ+, etc. And NOT to get to know them with the mindset, "I am getting to know you so that I can change you," but to get to know them to allow them to experience the great gift of unconditional love and to transform my heart more and more into Christ's (there are no walls in Christ's heart) -- so that my heart truly can encompass and love each individual exactly where they are at.

This conversation with a friend truly was an answer to a specific prayer I've been praying over the past few days (whether or not I knew exactly what I was asking for) -- "take this bitterness and replace it with a heart overflowing with love."

This conversation reminded me that (while the flaws and issues of closed-off-ness that I see ARE still there in so many places), there is SO MUCH GOOD in the world! It is beautiful to see another Catholic mission that carries the mentality the has been on my heart: "Go OUT and LOVE each individual exactly where they're at."

~*~

It is SO BEAUTIFUL to see the beautiful missions Christ calls us to: the missions to encounter and love different people. Seeing my friend truly LIT UP WITH JOY over her mission in THE SAME WAY that my heart lights up when I think of my job and of the people who I am BLESSED beyond measure to have been given to love truly fills me with joy and affirms in my heart that I'm not crazy to love so much and so deeply. This LOVE is good. (Side tangent: I've been feeling shame for HOW strongly I feel drawn towards certain people, but that's another story. -- Moral of the story is: I've needed to see that this light is not shameful but is of Christ.)

This conversation was also reassurance to me that I am in the right place. To feel this much fulfillment from a job is a BLESSING! To have a job where I feel the same INDESCRIBABLE JOY and draw that people go on mission to find, that is incredible. 

It's funny how God works in our lives. No one person's mission is more beautiful than another's, yet each mission is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING that individual person could be called to, and as we find our missions: HOW WE LIGHT UP!

I've always thought "the light of Christ" is an analogy, but now I'm not so sure. I think that sense of peace and fulfillment, that joy beyond expression --> that is Christ's light.

God could give me no other mission that would fill me with the joy I find in the mission I have now. None. (Cue: No Place I'd Rather Be) My heart would break at the thought of not being where I'm at, and it bursts with joy at the MIRACLE it is that God has put the people in my life that He did and has given me the HONOR to love them -- that He has appointed me that role.

~*~

My friend described this sort of peace she felt in her heart when God affirmed her steps towards her calling. I have felt that peace before. I know that peace (a confidence unwavering), and it is remarkable.

I hope everyone can find that place where they light up, that place where they are simultaneously giving and receiving in a beautiful balance. 

We will find ourselves fulfilling our missions in different places throughout our lives. Where I am now, where I was 10 years ago, and where I will be in 10 years may not all be the same, but I sure hope that light will be there! (Cue: insert this song that will either make you smile or cringe)

 To sum up this post, if you're not feeling full in where you are in life right now, it's okay to take a leap. At the same time, if you feel that fullness exactly where you are, how beautiful that is!  

God calls to the heart. We listen and respond. 

Perhaps you've already found your mission exactly where you are. If not, all I can say is:

When you find your mission, I hope you light up.