As Christians, Why Pronouns Matter - A LOT!

If you look at scripture, you will notice that every piece of it proclaims the importance of proclaiming Christ IN ALL THINGS. This proclamation in word and deed, along with our Baptism, is what makes us Christians.

We live in a world that is becoming more and more secular. Under names such as modernization and progressiveness, we are pressured and now even forced to proclaim that every person is creator of his or her own identity and has his or her own truth. In taking the place of God, man can now define himself and proclaim himself creator of his own truth (this is a heresy, by the way).

If we do not comply with these wishes, we risk the threat of being accused of hate speech, bigotry, and intolerance.

2023 Modernity:   "I am my own creator."

Compliance:   "You are your own creator."

Christians/Christianity (Proclamation of God’s Word):   "God is my creator." "God is your creator."

 

What does it mean to be a Christian? Based off of my study and understanding of it, I would say that

Christianity is the profession of Christ as our Lord and Savior and the profession of God's Word as truth. (Note: This definition does not change over time.)

At the very core of our beings as Christians is our profession of God as maker of all things and Jesus as savior of all humanity.

Let's examine now more in depth (1) what it means to be a Christian, (2) how God expressed through scripture and through Biblical models the importance of truth, and (3) why pronouns are especially of importance.

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Let's start with the basics and ask God's Word - the Bible...

Who is Jesus?  

"I am the way, the truth, and the life." (John 14:6)

Who do we profess? 

Jesus, aka The Truth ~ If we do not profess the truth, we do not profess Jesus. If we deny the truth, we deny Jesus, for Jesus is the truth.

"I will bless the Lord at all times; 

his praise shall be always in my mouth."

(Psalm 34: 2)

When it comes to pronouns, secular society may try to tell us, "It's just a word" but words have power, GREAT power. It was with words that God created. It was with words that the devil tempted Eve. It was with words that heresies were proclaimed. It was with words that people throughout the ages professed and glorified false gods. It was with words that Christians throughout the ages professed Christ. WORDS MATTER because they express TRUTH and FALSEHOOD, and Christ is truth and "The Word." 

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Where do we see today in yesterday?  Let's take a look at this scripture passage... “King Nebuchadnezzar had a golden statue made, sixty cubits high and six cubits wide, which he set up in the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. He then ordered the satraps, prefects, and governors, the counselors, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the officials of the provinces to be summoned to the dedication of the statue which he had set up. The satraps, prefects, and governors, the counselors, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the officials of the provinces came together for the dedication and stood before the statue which King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. A herald cried out: “Nations and peoples of every language, when you hear the sound of the horn, pipe, zither, dulcimer, harp, double-flute, and all the other musical instruments, you must fall down and worship the golden statue which King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. Whoever does not fall down and worship shall be instantly cast into a white-hot furnace.” Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, pipe, zither, dulcimer, harp, double-flute, and all the other musical instruments, the nations and peoples of every language all fell down and worshiped the golden statue which King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. At that point, some of the Chaldeans came and accused the Jews to King Nebuchadnezzar: “O king, live forever! O king, you issued a decree that everyone who heard the sound of the horn, pipe, zither, dulcimer, harp, and double-flute, and all the other musical instruments should fall down and worship the golden statue; whoever did not was to be cast into a white-hot furnace. There are certain Jews whom you have made administrators of the province of Babylon: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; these men, O king, have paid no attention to you; they will not serve your god or worship the golden statue which you set up.” Nebuchadnezzar flew into a rage and sent for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who were promptly brought before the king. King Nebuchadnezzar questioned them: “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you will not serve my god, or worship the golden statue that I set up? Now, if you are ready to fall down and worship the statue I made, whenever you hear the sound of the horn, pipe, zither, dulcimer, harp, double-flute, and all the other musical instruments, then all will be well; if not, you shall be instantly cast into the white-hot furnace; and who is the God who can deliver you out of my hands?” Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, “There is no need for us to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If our God, whom we serve, can save us* from the white-hot furnace and from your hands, O king, may he save us! But even if he will not, you should know, O king, that we will not serve your god or worship the golden statue which you set up.” Nebuchadnezzar’s face became livid with utter rage against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He ordered the furnace to be heated seven times more than usual and had some of the strongest men in his army bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and cast them into the white-hot furnace. They were bound and cast into the white-hot furnace with their trousers, shirts, hats and other garments, for the king’s order was urgent. So huge a fire was kindled in the furnace that the flames devoured the men who threw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego into it. But these three fell, bound, into the midst of the white-hot furnace…” (Daniel 3:1-23) While this is my favorite and the one that stands out to me the most, there are so many other examples in the New Testament of times Christians were persecuted and often killed for refusals to do or say things directly contrary to God's Word. I think it is important to point out that in the Bible we are given the example of people who stood true to God's commands (even in seemingly minuscule things) as true Christians and noble models to follow. Consider the brothers who died refusing to not eat pork in 2 Maccabees 7 (I'm not trying to scare people and won't put the rather graphic passage here). Christians today might point out that there is not a rule against consuming pork for Christians today. That said, the point is that God looks with joy and compassion on those who obey His commands including those commands which the world may tell us are minuscule and petty... and based on the Biblical evidence above...

 

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I wouldn't consider pronouns minuscule things AT ALL. They point to the core of our identity. They are a proclamation of who we are. They are a proclamation of the maker/creator of the human person -- man or God.

When you state a person's pronouns, you proclaim who (or whose) and what they are. --You are not your own. You are a child of God.-- Our sex is at the very core of how God created us and what God created us to be. Genesis puts special emphasis on the phrase "Male and female He created them." (Genesis 5:2) Each of ours identity as male and female is specially given to us by God to reflect something beautiful and unique about His nature. Much more could be said here, but I am trying to keep this to a blog and not a book. I can try to at least link books/podcasts that go into this more below as I come across them.

When you use pronouns that do not align with a person's God-given sex you are proclaiming that they and not God are their own maker. You are giving the glory and honor to man that is due solely to God. You are, in fact, proclaiming that person to be their own God.

As a Christian, I will not proclaim you to be your own maker and god, because your very dignity and worth come from your identity in Jesus Christ.

"But if a prophet presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die."

(Deuteronomy 18:20)

Closing Note (Important)

I want to acknowledge here that people do struggle with their gender and sexuality. I do not want to deny that people experience great pain in this and need gentleness and compassion. But it is not compassion to feed into a lie. It is compassion to proclaim the truth. Only in truth will a person find their true identity.

Lessons Learned [As An Educator] - School Year 2022-2023

Even when working in one of the best of schools, there's still regular crisis calls, sexual harassment, and violent threats. These are some of the biggest things I have dealt with (some frequently) in my work life this year. 

Welcome to working in a school 2022-23 edition.

 

I know that probably doesn't make working in a school sound appealing, but there's the discernment of whether you're called to work in this field, there's the discernment of when or how long you're called to work in this field, and then there are those special moments and the positive impact you can have on kids... so rewarding.

This year I have faced an insane number of ethical dilemmas. Should I speak up? Should I remain silent? What should I say? Did I say things I shouldn't? I am grateful and proud of many of my decisions. Others, I regret.

~*~

1. Sometimes the greatest sign of strength isn't putting up with abuse.  

Boundaries and self-care might mean a few broken hearts... and is 100% worth it. The best thing I've done for myself is take my needs seriously. Life only began going out of barely-coping mode after I said some difficult "no"s. The difference in quality of day to day life was transformational. I put up with 4 months of double stress where I was constantly on edge preparing for crises and 4 more months of major stress due to verbal abuse before actually taking my needs seriously enough (at this point my body was breaking down, telling me break me or take care of me; there's no other option). I want to put the needs of other first, but that cannot be at the stakes of my mental and physical health.

Boundary setting with kids. Boundary setting with staff. I have a long way to go in setting boundaries, but I have also made a lot of progress.

 ~*~

2. Staying true to your faith and values in a secular work environment is uncomfortable... and confusing.  

This one hasn't hit hard in previous school years, but in this school year (as Minnesotans would say) "oof." Discerning what this looks like can be very difficult and living this out can be just as difficult. This year this has looked like--where do I conform to people-please? When do I speak up or remain silent? How should I respond if things that go directly against my beliefs are being taught or forced on our children or staff (that has been a big one)?

This has also looked like: How much do I express my faith at work? What does that look like? Is there a difference between "not hiding" and yelling? Ought I or is it okay to (literally) wear my faith on my sleeve? How do I respond if a student asks me about my faith? Am I guilty if I don't express my faith?--the Catechism says it is not only recommended but our responsibility as Christians to be open about it and not hide it under a bushel basket. Am I guilty if I do express my faith? Should I only be doing it in actions? WHAT DOES EXPRESSING ONE'S FAITH LOOK LIKE? <-- Perhaps asking "am I guilty" isn't the right question here, but it's one that has hung over me this year.

When is going up against authority brave, and when is it rash? What is the difference between compassion and timidity? Between respect and sharing one's beliefs? We are encouraged to express various things about what we consider our "identity" at work, but religion is not one of them.

 ~*~

3. If you won't speak up, who will? 

This year has been a year of speaking up, and a lot of my pride and regrets have come from how I handled these instances. I have this thing where, if I see someone I care about getting hurt by something, I go into defense mode and go all out. 

This year that has looked like... 

- seeing students being pressured to say and conform to things that go against their religious beliefs? A meeting with the principal

- seeing a coworker cry and others being asked to wear an insane number of hats at once? A (perhaps overly) heated email to HR. 

- seeing bullying? A concerned email to all parties who may be in a place to respond.

- sexual harassment towards staff and students again... and again... and again...? Multiple emails and meetings with HR, etc.

-  a student threatening violence? Another concerned email to admin (necessary? idk... still weighing on my conscience)

The question is "is this my place?" and I don't always know (occasionally I do know). In these situations, I am often surprised when my coworkers don't say anything or if they seem astonished that I said something. I don't know if this is a sign that I am particularly brave or overbearing and rash??? I honestly think it's a mix (and tend to have a hard time telling the difference). 

 ~*~

4. You can't please everyone.

This realization is 'ouch' and at the same time so freeing. I am a MAJOR people-pleaser, and I would say the majority of the problems I've faced at work are due to some form of people-pleasing. This people-pleasing might look like not standing up for myself or my needs. This people-pleasing might look like feeling guilt... If not everyone likes me, I (still) assume there is a problem with me and that I need to fix this.

 The irony of being an outspoken people-pleaser.

  ~*~

5. Self-forgiveness is key in this profession.

Some of this probably sounds like parenting...

 

·     Forgiving myself for every time I was too hard on a kid.

·     Forgiving myself for every time I wasn't firm enough with a kid.

·     Forgiving myself for every time I spoke up.

·     Forgiving myself for every time I didn't speak up. 

·     Forgiving myself for every time I complained about things when other people were doing their best or when I had things so much better than others.

·     Forgiving myself for being imperfect.

I need to realize that my imperfections don't make me bad at my job--they make me human.

 

6. Don't try to be someone you're not. 

 "I am not good enough" or "I am being judged negatively" thoughts come into my head too often. A coworker recently told me that we can't all have the same approach and shouldn't try to be anyone else. I wish I had heard or caught on to that message sooner. I learned this one the hard way. 

 

I have a student who I have a very special relationship with and have been working with for over a year. A couple months into the year, I heard and witnessed a coworker of mine with a more firm and strict approach to working with my student. I instantly saw myself as weak and as not pushing my student to his full capabilities, so I changed my approach to copy the coworker's. 

 

Literally within the first week my student turned to me and said, "What's going on? You're not like this." My trying to impersonate the coworker resulted in many more power struggles, and my student began to talk about the "old" me and the new me. While, in this instance, I had viewed myself as "the weak one" who didn't push my kid hard enough, it seems the approach I took naturally was actually something this student needed.

The good news is that as I work with other students I can give myself grace for not being exactly like the next paraprofessional. Yes, I am learn skills from other paras and try to incorporate those into how I work with individual kids, but I don't need to change who I am.

~*~  

So I guess the truth is that this blog post shouldn't be called "Lessons Learned" but "Lessons Learning," because even in writing this I've made new realizations about how my mind works and because I am still struggling with pretty much all of these.

 

Every year working in a school becomes harder (hopefully that trend will end?) This post may seem more dense than my Lessons Learned posts of the past, but that's because this school year has been more dense. 

 

So here's to working in a school 2022-2023.

 

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