Here's the Jist! My Summer [2024] Health Journey

I find I've reached a point in my health journey where, when people ask how I'm doing health-wise, the full story is so long to tell that I just want to type it out and give people a link. This might sound a bit like a Caring Bridge post except that I'm not having big medical procedures done or anything:

P.S. If you don't like hearing about vomit, you shouldn't read this blog post.

 

JUNE

My health challenges became significant this year with symptoms accelerating in early June. I got a concussion in late March. I don't know if these health things are related to it (something in me thinks that I would be dealing with these issues regardless of the concussion). The first day of significant symptoms was a Sunday. On June 4th, I played tennis for about 30-40 minutes in the sun and could feel that something was wrong with my body. My brain felt weird and mushy and my balance felt off. I experienced nausea. I don't remember if this resulted in a full on migraine.

 

 

I thought this was going to be a one time thing and that I just needed to drink more water. Symptoms persisted and got worse through the entire month of June, however (and not just when I exercised). Starting either the first or second week of summer vacation, I reached a point where I couldn't leave home at all (not even to drive myself places), because my body was so sensitive to motion that I would get dizzy, get a migraine and vomit, and be out of commission for the rest of day. I stayed home for about a week, having my friends come over to my place since I couldn't make plans to go see them and do things out and about. Thank you to friends who were flexible in coming to see me when I couldn't come see you!

I debated if I should work summer school when this vulnerable to sickness 24/7. Ultimately, I decided not to do summer school although my health was only one contributing factor in that decision. (P.S. Taking summer off was sooo helpful.)

I wanted to have a summer of tennis and daily walks and Mass and adoration. My health problems put a damper on this. I knew if I went anywhere or pushed myself to do any exercise I risked getting a migraine that would be have me out the rest of the day/night. The doctor tested me for Diabetes, but the test came back negative.

JULY

In July things got a bit better, and I was able to start going on more walks and playing more tennis. I did have one instance of a migraine that was abnormal for me. Typically with migraines, when I throw up it seems to release the pressure in my head and the headache starts to go away. In this instance, I laid in bed all evening and night throwing up and the pain didn't decrease at all.

 

My mom and I decided to go to the hospital, but the doctors didn't know what they were doing and I became a human pin cushion (they even brought in ultrasound tech to try to get an IV in me). At the end of that visit, I bled onto the bed due to a doctor's error with bandaging, so my mom and I decided that the ER was not the place to go for a migraine unless it was life-threatening.

That said, I remember most of July as actually being a pretty wholesome month. My body was once again able to go for walks and even to play 40-60 minutes of tennis here and there. Exercise and tracking my diet (due to mild weight fluctuations) seemed to help.

AUGUST

In early August, my mom and I went on a trip to Wisconsin Dells that was a blast. We enjoyed a day doing a ropes course, but afterwards I became so dizzy that I couldn't even drive. My mom had to take over while I did my whole vomit-from-the-passenger-seat thing. After this, I began to have this sense of losing control of my body that I hadn't had before. I had to hold onto the wall twice within the next 24 hours (once showering and once at breakfast). The following afternoon, I could barely even get out of bed. I began having trouble retrieving words in my head, felt numb, and was experiencing the slightest constant tremor all throughout my body. I began to wonder if it was some allergic reaction. I remember thinking, "Is this what it's like being in a body you literally can't control? Where you physically can't do things and it feels like you're letting the people around you down?"

 

We cancelled our water park and Duck Boat plans, as even a little motion could cause symptoms. I thought it was going to ruin the trip, but we made things work and even had fun. Thankfully, we were able to go to the zoo one day when I finally was able to stand up and get out of bed mid-afternoon. I was actually well enough one day to go to the House on the Rock, and we got in some fun mini golf and shopping aside from this. It was an enjoyable trip, but it was also a big wake up call that my level of sensitivity to motion was returning to the levels it had been at in early summer.

When we came back, I was still able to play some tennis with friends. Then in mid to late-August, I played tennis with a friend and our old high school tennis coach for two hours in the sun (with plenty of long breaks throughout). Afterwards, I felt super overheated and dizzy. I made it to my car walking then started throwing up in the car. I was going to wait symptoms out and drive home, but even with the AC blasting and me laying back, my symptoms weren't diminishing. I ended up calling my mom though it was physically challenging to even speak a few words into the phone. 

My mom came and got me. I felt heavy and remained in the seat until she physically helped my dizzy body walk from my car to her car. I had two more major vomit sessions before we even got out of the neighborhood. My mom drove me home. For about 10 hours symptoms didn't get any better even with rest. I was throwing up to the point where I ran out of fluids in me, but my body was still retching. I truly think this was the worst migraine of my life (even worse than the one that got my in the hospital), and that's saying something!

I didn't leave home for the next three days and tried to rest my body doing relaxing things around the house like coloring. On Sunday, I drove for the first time (to Mass) and threw up again before I even got home. On Wednesday, I hung out with a friend and, as it got late, I could feel my body telling me it was getting tired (to the point where I could get sick), but I really wanted to get in the time with her before work started. Driving home that night I could tell I had barely ever been that dizzy behind the wheel. I knew I shouldn't be driving. My brain hurt from tiredness accompanied by dizziness and nausea. I did make it home. I played softball Thursday, and even though I had teammates sub as a "runner" for me, I got mildly dizzy on the way home. 

 

I went to the State Fair Saturday after sleeping in. Due to a blip, I ended up needing to walk a mile in the heat to get to an open entrance to the Fair. Once there, I was worried I would have to leave right away due to heat exhaustion. I knew I shouldn't walk. Praise be to God, after sitting in the shade for 30 minutes catching up with my friend I was able to stand up and move around. We paced ourselves, and I felt mostly okay throughout the day aside from a stomachache after eating a corn dog. I was going to have my mom pick me up early due to my exhaustion (primarily from the heat) but kept pushing back the time for her to pick me up. I was thankful to get in around 7 hours at the Fair that day (thank you, God, for helping my body recenter on multiple occasions).

On Sunday, I chose to not go anywhere until Mass, because I didn't want to end up sick and missing Mass like the previous Sunday. I went to evening Mass and then food shopping. On the way home I was super nauseous and symptoms only improved a little once home. On Monday, I felt mildly vulnerable to symptoms but did okay with the 3 mile drive to and from work and otherwise pacing myself. Tuesday I was mostly fine but did start to feel a bit sick in adoration after work so didn't stay very long.

I guess that brings it up to date... Hopefully this post has helped at least some in explaining my low energy recently. If I'm not making plans, it's not because I don't want to see people. I'm doing what my body will let me do and am grateful for that.

Prayers for my neurology appointment in October would be appreciated. Neurologists weren't able to do much for me in the past, so we'll see what happens.  My biggest takeaway with everything going on is just immense gratitude for how much my body has been able to do for so long, gratitude that I'm in a state in life where I can truly focus on self-care, and gratitude for the things that I still can do and the wonderful friends I can do them with.

Perks Of Working At A School

I think it's time for me to spend more time concretely reflecting on my good things in my life. There are such a plenitude of blessings! One of those blessings is my job. It comes with plenty of stressors, but God is blessing me so deeply where I work...

It gives me a great sense of purpose. I get to make a difference in so many lives, and while perhaps I've drempt of being married with kids at this age, I go into work each day knowing I have a purpose to care for children who need that light in their lives. There is a reason God has put other things on hold for me. He has so much purpose where I'm at. I wouldn't exchange anything for His plan for me.

Summers off (for freedom to explore). Let's be real and acknowledge that "summers off" is not really a thing for teachers with all their lesson planning and so forth. That said, I am blessed to be in a role (to have chosen a role) that gives me that 9-5 "work is at work" AND a full summer to explore new things without having to worry about health insurance. Summer can be so many things. Rest and rejuvenation. Enjoying God's beautiful world/weather. Opportunities to dabble in other types of work, to choose my own schedule, opportunities to travel or even move somewhere else for a couple months without having to ask off work... Oh, and lots of breaks throughout the year: winter break, spring break, long weekends.

Spirit weeks: How many people can say they went to work dressed up as Princess Leia?!

Free annual picture. This one is rather hilarious. I don't think many people in their 20s are really looking for an annual school picture to hand out to friends and family. That said, we get that. Dress up once a year, look your best, and watch yourself age beautifully lol. It is great if you need a professional shot!

Annual memory book. Yearbooks. I've stopped buying them for various reasons, but I think it's pretty amazing that for each year of our life, we get to have documented (mentally or in print) moments that really meant a lot to us: unique accomplishments, things unique to that year... and we're watching our kids grow which is crazy! We get to see the difference we've made in their lives as well as the difference they've made in ours.

Specific to my job...

Paid to exercise and play games with kids. That's right. PE para. A role I begged my supervisor for that he generously gave me. Not saying it's a stress free piece of cake. I can assure you there is plenty of stress in this role just as their is plenty of stress in other classrooms. That said, part of the reason I wanted this role is that it makes me workout daily, and I get paid to do it versus paying to do it! I also get to develop positive relationships with kids playing games and being their cheerleader--things that would be harder to do in other subject areas. (And I don't have to sit around all day. I'm constantly moving which is great for my mental health.) -- I get a home base but I also get the opportunity to sub and to explore various areas around the school, many which I wouldn't want to work in full time but that I enjoy trying from time to time.

Opportunities to try new things/change things up. I'm blessed that my supervisor is super flexible about where I want to be placed. Every year we can change things up if we really want (mid-year as well if things aren't working for whatever reason). This provides opportunities for variety but also stability.

Christian coworker! I almost left my job this year. With secular influences in our school taking over, I felt I had to hide my Christian self at work to blend in. I didn't like this feeling that I couldn't bring the most important/central part of my life and my identity into my daily work. I didn't like that rejoicing in my faith with others was only something I could do after work. Miracle of miracles, God not only called me to stay at my job, but the day before I had been scheduled to resign he sent an INCREDIBLE Christian coworker into my life, and now we thrive and constantly talk about what bringing the light of Christ to our job looks like--navigating the joys and sorrows of our daily life in Him. Now, I really can/get to shamelessly rejoice in being a daughter of God everyday with my dear sister.

Some pretty stellar coworkers (at similar stages to me in their lives). Despite plenty of coworker challenges in the past couple years--this year definitely included--I really do have many incredible coworkers, and they value me so much and so often talk me up which is a blessing. Feeling valued is huge (and well as feeling good at what I do). There are some other jobs I've been at where I've worked with vulnerable populations. That said, many people in those jobs are just at different stages in life than me: still in college, etc. It's nice to have coworkers who I can relate to in regard to out post-college stage of life who also aren't necessarily in a rush to "accomplish" everything by a certain age (such as raising a family) or judging me based off of that.

Kid-free professional collab time/on the clock. This is something most schools don't have to the extent that we do. In the majority of schools, paras come in with the kids and leave with the kids. There isn't time to decompress or problem solve with other staff members or just connect and prep for/decompress from the day. At my job there is that open time to do what you think is important and to work towards making time with the kids run more smoothly while still on the clock.