HEALTH BLOG #2 - Vocal Cord Dysfunction

I've been far more antisocial this past month than in previous months. I find the main reason for this is that once your life becomes more and more difficult due to health issues, one gets tired of and overwhelmed at the prospect of having to answer the question "how are you?" / "what's new?" / "how's life"? [It also becomes more difficult to go places, as your body feels so drained and confused.]

As I go through this year of self-care, we're finding more and more things. Allergy testing -- Depression -- Anxiety -- Potential PTSD -- Acid Reflux -- things I'd rather not name -- etc. etc. I'm trying a new diet: DAIRY FREE AND WHEAT-LIMITED. On top of that I'm supposed to avoid acidic foods due to reflux. 

I'm someone who has a hard time getting out of bed or going places due to anxiety and who-knows-what (still figuring stuff out), so AVOIDING certain foods isn't as big of an issue as making sure I EAT at all. I guess my body is accustomed to going through the day on a rice cake or no food, so I have to force myself to eat. Once I start eating, I want to keep eating due to the fact that it can be an anxiety-relieving activity. Preparing the food can be tiring. I have to set myself to it and am lucky if I get in a solid meal a day. People may ask "how do you function?" Fair question. I don't necessarily function, but this is normal for me.

People ask me, "Well, did these things just suddenly appear or have you had these symptoms in years past?" The best answer I can give is that I've had these health issues for the past 11-22 years, but I've chosen to avoid addressing them, and my symptoms have gradually become more severe.

The basic narration of my health journey over the past few years has been the doctor saying, "Yes. We can't find a cause of this [weakness, fatigue, etc.] Your testing came back negative. Much of it could be due to allergies or psychological problems."

I was diagnosed with asthma many years ago, but when I finally went to the allergist again this year -- after about a decade -- to see if we could identify triggers and some life adjustments could help lessen some symptoms [headaches, weakness, tingling, shortness of breath, itchiness] the breath tests showed that I did not have asthma. In fact, my ability to breath out was "above average." 

What we found was "below average" was my ability to breath in.

L  R

The vocal cord folds are the entrance for air to get into the lungs.

LEFT: My vocal cords in open resting position VCD.

Note: In my case, the vocal cords twitch nervously in anticipation that they may need to close all the way to block out potential threats to the lungs.

RIGHT: Approximately what the vocal cords look like (only slightly more open than) in a resting person without VCD.

The allergist suspected vocal cord dysfunction and sent me to a voice pathologist for testing. His guess was accurate. DEFINITE vocal cord dysfunction, and it's funny of how for all these years we didn't know this or I thought it must just be in my head.

Click here for an informative, 15 min. podcast on VCD.

Now for some questions I anticipate:

1) Did I always have this disorder? 

2) If so, why didn't I address it sooner?

I don't know exactly when this disorder began, but I suspect I have had it for as long as I can remember. I have had difficulty breathing for a long time, and I think I was diagnosed with asthma around the age of 11. Before age 11 I had some difficulty with breathing too, though I primarily remember it as being exercise-induced up until that point. Age 11 is when other disorders I have kicked-in, and I definitely think the various disorders contributed to each other. So I would say my vocal cords have been gradually closing for at least 11 years.

I wouldn't necessarily say I haven't addressed it. I have gone into the therapist with breathing problems every few months for the past many years. I'm often given breathalyzers to breath out into, since they thought I had asthma. I carry an inhaler. But I was misdiagnosed. We didn't really know the cause for these breathing issues up until now.

My other response to question two is that since I was a kid I'm accustomed to being told that I'm faking or exaggerating things. I've had perplexed doctors tell me, "It's not this. It's not that. It seems to simply be due to your psychological disorders." Sort of like "it must be all in your head." In this case I'd say "in my throat." Anyhow, doctors have been so perplexed for years telling me they can't find any problems with me that I've succumbed to the conclusion that most of my physical problems are "in my head." I think this is a big part of why I've developed such a "guilt complex."

3) How can it be treated?

As you will hear, if you listen to the podcast above, often more than one form of treatment is needed. 

I currently am seeing a voice therapist who gives me exercises to do at home to teach my vocal folds to open up. Not surprisingly, people with VCD often have issues with anxiety. The disorder can be anxiety-induced, and even if that isn't the case, surely a person will experience some anxiety if they aren't able to breath. Due to this and an array of issues related to the disorder, seeing a psychotherapist can be helpful to learn ways to calm one's body, live with the disorder, and lessen the symptoms.

I do not know if the disorder is curable. I doubt there's a perfect fix, but there are exercises that can be done to teach the vocal folds how to open, and a stress-reduced lifestyle can naturally help.

On the bright side, I seem to have something in common with one of my favorite film characters, Darth Vadar! :)