Don't Give Into The Post-College Assumption

I've written a lot of posts for myself, but this one is for you guys!

I've been out of college for just over four months now, and since graduation I've been trying to meet with friends on about a weekly basis for coffee dates. I love to check with people and to see how they are. I always find that my friendships are life giving, and to me friendship is what life is truly about.

I just checked my planner, and over the course of these past few months I've been on 19 coffee dates with fellow post-grads. 19! And I want to share something about those coffee dates with all of you... 

Not ONE person amidst those coffee dates has told me that he or she is perfectly happy with his or her life!

They've shared with me the stresses of school, finding a job, relationships, faith life, feelings of emptiness, uncertainties... the list goes on and on. Not ONE person I met with told me that they are stress-free and have got their life all in order.

I think many or all of us (definitely myself included) leave college and look around at our friends, classmates, fellow-grads, and we think they have everything in order. This person is getting married. That person is pursuing their masters. This person has a full-time job. This person has a nice home. This person is going on an adventure. Yada-yada.

(Photo courtesy Google Images)

There are so many beautiful things about life, but if you go through life thinking that ANY one of those people feels like they've got everything together...YOU ARE MISTAKEN. 

It's our 20s, and we're living life. We're figuring things out. That person who you see just got a ring on his or her finger is already worrying about the next step or may be dealing with the loss of a loved one. That person with the beautiful house is dealing with feelings of loneliness. That person pursuing a degree is struggling to also juggle a job and get a decent amount of sleep each night.

See. It's ok to be imperfect. It's ok to have insecurities. It's ok to still be looking for that job. It's ok to not have that boyfriend or girlfriend. It's ok to be continually discerning one's vocation. It's ok to be struggling with one's faith life, sleep schedule, diet, just getting out of bed every morning...

This doesn't make you a loser. You are NOT alone.

I know from experience that it's one thing to hear someone tell you "It's ok" and it's another thing to internalize it. Many of us will have to be reminded this time and time again. We may struggle to grasp it. But I hope that if we try to grab on to the reality that NO ONE has his or her stress-free life together, that it's ok to not always know the next step, that it's ok to be who we are and where we are right now, if we just keep reminding ourselves this...

I hope that one day you'll believe it. (Because I'm just finally starting to.)