Friday, September 8, 2017

The Cross of Non-Vulnerability

People say that being vulnerable is scary, but what I really think is scary is the thought of being vulnerable with someone who doesn't want you to be vulnerable with them. This might not be the case for all people, but I still have this sense that deep down we all want to share about ourselves. We want to be known, but we don't really think anyone cares.

Personally, I think the idea of being vulnerable with people is freeing. It hurts when people don't want to get to know the real me.

Do I have the right to be known? I've always assumed no, but for the first time I think that might be wrong. Maybe if I actually acknowledged my worth I would go up to the people I call friends and say, "Here's the real me. Take it or leave it." 

I feel like so many of my friends are afraid to get to know the real me, but that's actually really degrading if that's the case.

I think the main reason people are afraid of others being vulnerable with them is because it makes them feel helpless. They feel guilt for the fact that someone just opened up their heart to them and they can't help them. If you think about it, that's actually selfish: forcing people to hide behind walls so that you don't have to face the reality that you might just need to be their friend and not get exalted to the position of savior.

Until we let others open up to us, we aren't actually accepting them or showing them their worth. How disgusting is that, if you think about it? So many of us (perhaps everyone) is hiding some wound deep inside - some integral part of them - that they don't want others to see, because they assume that others don't want to see or know about it but just want to stay in their comfortable little lives. I hope this assumption is wrong; otherwise, it turns out we really are a cold-hearted people.

How many people are not being touched by Christ, because people aren't letting Christ work through them as listener and comforter? If no other comfort, there is a comfort in being listened to.

Are we ruled by fear our courage? 
I'll be the first to admit that for me it's fear: not fear of people opening up to me but of people not wanting me to open up to them.

I pray that more people will open themselves up to others as listeners. Stop turning away our friends. Stop saying, "I love you, but don't tell me." Stop giving them the vibe that you have boundaries with them that won't let them be human.

I would like to set a new personal boundary. And this boundary says that if you don't want to get to know me for me then this isn't really a friendship and why am I wasting my time on this facade?

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