Self-Neglect Is Not Humility (Killing Myself Slowly)

I think for most people, when they hear a term like "self-abuse" they right away think physical abuse like cutting, but I must note that abuse falls into multiple categories and one of these is most certainly neglect.

Am I finding time to maintain a proper diet? 

Am I consistently eating healthy foods every day?

Am I getting the proper amount of sleep I need or forcing my body to sacrifice routine?

Do I have a social life where I get support from peers?

Am I finding time to work out to attain/maintain physical and psychological health?

Am I physically straining my body beyond a safe and healthy level of activity?

Am I finding time to maintain my own sanity and enjoy life through recreation & relaxation?

In other words:

Are my physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual needs being met?

This list is not all-encompassing and could be much longer...

I've been living under the presumption that it's okay (in fact, good and selfless) for me to not take care of myself so long as I am sacrificing my own self-care for the care of others. However, I have recently learned that is not the case. (Praise the Lord!)

Indeed, in the Hierarchy of Charity, we are supposed to take care of our own needs before we take care of those of others. We may have all heard the phrase "take care of yourself first or you will have nothing left to give others." However, this phrase can be misconstrued. We do not simply take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. We have value in ourselves too!!!

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person; for God's temple is sacred, and you together are that temple." (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." (Philippians 1:20)

I did not realize that self-care is a Christian practice prescribed by God! Nor did I realize that it is actually wrong to tend to others needs at the neglect of your own.

I recently read through an article that was pretty self-descriptory. The article talked about tendencies certain types of people have, and so many of these tendencies were to demean and devalue themselves. Literally, when I looked at these descriptions - while I recognized the tendencies four-fold - as I pictured anyone else doing them I thought, "This is sad! It makes me sad to even think that anyone would treat himself this way! Nobody should be treated this way. Not by others or by himself."

Now that I think about it, over a year ago I was having a conversation with my spiritual director when she told me that we tend to look at canonized saints and their self-sacrificing living which often include inflicting pain of themselves. She explained to me that we are not all called to that lifestyle. This was a novelty to me. I only just now began to internalize the message not only that we are not called to hurt ourselves through intentional infliction of pain but also that we are called to not neglect our own needs. Self-neglect is not a holy and sacred practice. You are neglecting God's temple: a gift that He has prized to you and that He desires to see flourish.

Self-abuse is not only active but passive. 

With this is mind, I would like to share some ideas for things for you to put on your radar. Each day ask yourself:

Your self-care list may vary slightly, but overall it should include the important things. Take care of yourself! You will by no means be 100% perfect, but you should always be working towards the goal of meeting all of these needs. If your needs are not being met, it's important to reach out for help. That is NOT selfish. That is acknowledging your worth as a Temple of the Holy Spirit and taking care of that temple. 

Try making this your daily checklist. Talk to friends, a priest, a psychologist, etc. if you are having a difficult time making the completion of this checklist possible... you are not alone!